25/02/2013
I’ve heard the above phrase a few times;
it seems that children and adults here have learnt a handful of English sayings
to aim at the foreigners they see on the street.
The sad thing is, what they are saying
is often true, but then again many other people do not know the meaning of what
they are saying. For example, a well-dressed boy, with food in his hand said to
me “money, money, I am hungry. Ferenge give me money” and it dawned on me that
they may learn these phrases on the off chance the person they aim them towards
feels a twang in their heart. Often I do, but I cannot give something to
everyone, and if you are seen to give to some then you are harassed by others.
It is a vicious circle because giving directly reinforces the perception that
all foreign people are rich and can give things away, but walking by and not
doing anything is so incredibly difficult when you feel you could help.
You may recall my HIV Survivor story
about Helen, her life story evoked the most emotion from me of those I have
heard so far. I found myself wondering at night whether she had eaten today or
whether she had prioritised her children eating over her own health. It has niggled
away at me ever since I met her, so I resolved I had to do something. The small
act may have been just to settle my own mind, but also to provide some
temporary relief for her and her children.
I am a believer that just throwing
money at a problem does not necessarily have your desired outcome. So rather
than just give money, I went to the local shops and bought her 2kg rice, a pack
of spaghetti, a bag of seeds & nuts, 1kg onions, 1 cabbage, 1kg carrots, a
pack of ’enriched’ salt, 6 eggs, 4 pieces of bread, 3 body soaps and 1 laundry
soap - amounting to around 150Birr (just over £5). With my counterpart, I took
them to her home and let her know that I had been thinking about her. Like I
have said, it is a small gesture, which provides temporary relief but I felt it
had to be done.
She was incredibly grateful, and
completely surprised to see us again. To thank me she prepared coffee, in the
traditional way. We sat outside; she gathered grass and flowers and set about
roasting the coffee beans and preparing the cups. A couple of her friends
joined us, and their children. One of her neighbours came to sit and spin her
yarn while we were together, and the boys of the compound played football
around us. We came to learn that her third child had gone back to the family of
her birth mother; I could not help but think that this was terribly sad for her
but to an extent lessened her burden. It was nice just to do something that is
so normal for the local people. I sat admiring this woman who has struggled so
much in life and a still has a smile on her face.
I am sure I will be back to see her
again, part of me feels responsible for getting her the aid she so desperately
needs. She shared her life story with me, an honour not many people receive.
Teddy and I will be championing her story to secure her future and that of her
children. The area she lives in is due to be ‘redeveloped’. Soon she will have
to find a new home, I sincerely hope that she can sustain herself and her
children somewhere safe but also know that her situation calls for some direct
action if any of this is to prevail.
Kx
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