26/02/2013
Billy* is the first male widower we
have met. He is 57 years old and has 4 children aged between 16 and 27. His
wife died in 1993 (EC) from HIV. Billy is not HIV positive, this situation is
called discordant when in a couple only one person is HIV positive. He lives in
a Kebele (government owned, subsidised property) and does not work. He is
mainly supported by his son who works for the Health Bureau. One of his
daughters would like to start a business; however she does not have basic
education or the funds to start up any form of IGA (income generating
activity).
His youngest child, Charlotte* was
adopted by Americans who came over to Ethiopia for voluntary work when she was
4 years old. This is the case for many of the young children in the area at the
time. Unlike the others, Billy has not seen his child since. Other children
have been back in large groups a couple of times to visit their homeland, but
Charlotte never came with them. He has tried contacting the American Embassy,
the charity involved and various other organisations to find out if his
daughter is alive and well. He received one photograph of her in reply; they
have not provided her new name to him, or even which state in the US she is
living in. While he is telling us it makes him desperately sad, he has
essentially lost a child. Whilst he knows that she probably has a better life
now, he still wishes he could know more about her.
This meeting was terribly upsetting;
this man lost his wife and essentially a child very close together. No one will
help him to contact her, she may not even know he is looking for her. For me
this brought up many questions surrounding foreign adoption, which I will be
writing about separately.
Kx
*names have been changed to protect
identity
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