31/01/13
Last month, if you had asked me if I were an emotional
person, who was prone to mood swings and shedding tears I would have said a
firm ‘No’. Sure I have emotions, I am
human after all, but often it can take a lot to evoke them. In this way I mean
it is difficult to evoke sad or negative emotions from me, as generally I think
I am happy and positive and I like to feel and give love to those around me (I
just realised I sound like a hippy there, peace and love y’all).
Well you can throw everything I just said out the window
because on Tuesday evening I cried like a baby at least 3 times in the same day
and then again on Wednesday morning. I cannot explain why, I think mainly
having so many different emotions in a short space of time, in an unusual
environment just overwhelmed me and the only way my body could manage it was to
relieve it in tear form.
When I was left at my host home, I felt a little abandoned
after spending so much time in close proximity of people I knew. There is a
slight language barrier as my Amharic is basic (I can count!) and the host
mother, Yeshe does not speak English and my host father, Philipos speaks broken
English. Yeshe very kindly inquired about my family and I just burst into
tears, mumbling that I missed them dearly and I was feeling very emotional. I
went to bed shortly after to gather my thoughts, but worried that they may
perceive this as being anti-social.
The kindness I received from the other volunteers the following morning really made a
difference, they were all concerned that there was something very wrong, and
whilst there was no need for them to be so worried, it cemented the fact that
in a short space of time we have really connected. I really appreciate all
their affection, even if at the time it made me cry even more.
I feel more settled now, like I said there is nothing wrong.
I have a nice host family, a good home and I am enjoying my time here. It is
odd but one of the feelings I felt was isolation, and I am surrounded by
people. Once I got myself an Ethiopian sim card and I could send a message back
home I felt so much more relaxed. This just shows how much some of us rely on
technology and contact to keep us going.
I decided that in my moment of sadness on my first night in
Hawassa I would open an envelope from my sister marked ‘Open when you need a
laugh’ – this is exactly what I needed, a good giggle. Upon opening the
envelope I found myself holding half a dozen photos of my wee niece, and before
I could read the card enclosed (which did make me giggle) I sobbed even more,
now the pictures are tear stained! I did however manage to pull myself together
the following day and showed Yeshe and Teddy the small album of photos of my
friends and family that I brought with me. The proclaimed that my niece is very
cute, and I certainly agree!
For those that know me well, expressing so openly my
emotions, for all to see, is not an easy feat, but if this trip does anything,
it is making me grow. I hope that I will continue to do so in many other ways.
Kx
P.S If I had been at home and felt the way I did the other
night, there would most certainly have been a group message sent to my nearest
and dearest demanding some company for a cosmopolitan or two!
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