HIV Survivors – Esther

03/03/2013

Esther* is a 70 year old woman, who lost two of her daughters to HIV. She now cares for one of her double orphaned grandchildren, aged 17. Her grandchildren from her other deceased daughter live with the family of their father. She has another daughter who lives with them, and her children aged 3, 5 and 22 – their father is unaccounted for.

OSSA only supports Esther and her 17 year old grandchild directly, they receive educational support and a small amount of money monthly (200Birr, £7) to cover the rent of her Kebele home which is 60birr per month and their food costs. Her surviving daughter works as a daily worker, and her grandson works laying cobble stones for the city administration.

Esther has to rely on OSSA as she is too elderly and sickly to work herself, and while her daughter and grandson work, they cannot support the six of them who are living together on their own.

While we were visiting Esther, her youngest grandchild aged 3 was truly frightened by myself and Alex, thinking we were ghosts due to our fair skin, she cried and hid from us for the duration!

Kx

*names have been changed to protect identity

HIV Survivors – Kate

03/03/2013

Kate* is a 30 year old mother of an 8 month baby, she is HIV+ but does not know how she contracted it. Her baby’s father left her during her pregnancy to go back to his former wife and child. Both of them were HIV+ when they met. Kate is participating in a PMTCT (Preventing Mother To Child Transfer) programme, she is receiving special medication to enable her to breast feed her baby with a reduced risk of her transferring HIV. Her CD4 count has reduced significantly during pregnancy, she will have to stop breast feeding when the baby is 1 year old and return to her regular ART medication.

She lives in her family home, although both her parents have died from HIV, she has 2 remaining brothers, aged 19 and 20 who also live with her. They all support each other, and receive aid from OSSA frequently.

OSSA provide financial support to cover their rent, food, medical bills, clothing and more for the 4 of them. Some time ago she also received a sum of money which she used to buy two goats; she is breading them and selling the kids to earn income.

From visiting Kate I could see that she is certainly benefiting from OSSA, considerably more than many of the other people I have met– it makes me wonder why there is no balance between the supports provided to each of the beneficiaries.

Kx

*names have been changed to protect identity

Adoption or abduction?

01/03/2013

I have been prompted by the life story of Billy* to write about this subject, I stress that this topic is only touched on briefly here; it opens a world of opinion and discussion.

Billy’s daughter was adopted aged 4 by Americans who were in Ethiopia working with NGOs. This was 12 years ago, they have not seen or heard from here since, they do not know why. They have tried to find information on her, with little result other than a single photograph of her which appears to be recent. Could it be that her adoptive family do not want her to keep her family connection? Or maybe the Ethiopian and American Governments have something to hide with regards to this type of adoption.

Adopting children from Ethiopia has been something of a scandal for several years; papers for children were being incorrectly or fraudulently completed – if completed at all. Rumour of false promises that the children will return in the future or that the family left behind will be financially supported indefinitely. Alongside this, agencies were acting for their own benefit, defrauding families of their children to provide a child which meets the criteria of the adopters rather than encouraging adopters to readdress their standards. Many children who were adopted and taken out of the country were not orphans, and in fact had all their family intact. This became such a huge issue that Ethiopia closed its doors to foreign adoption for quite some time whilst they tried to remedy the various flaws that had been found out. I believe that it is now an option again, and hopefully it comes with all the red tape that it requires to be a fair and functional department.

It seems that foreigners adopting Ethiopian (and more widely African) children are keen to have children under the age of 3, you know when they are cute, easy to deal with and can learn the relevant language. The older children, or those that required special assistance were not so desirable, they are the ones that were left behind. This lead to a boom of toddlers being taken out the country, in fact some details I found online stated that there was a year when children was the largest export for Ethiopia that year – does this not border on human trafficking?

What can we expect of a developing country if all the youths are being removed before they can make their footprint on their own nation’s future?

This is not to say that many of the children were fairly adopted, and were genuine orphans who now have a very different life to what they faced before. I come to wonder how many children are in a faraway place, wondering why their mother or father gave them away and whether they will ever see them again.

One of the main issues for keeping the connection between Ethiopia and it’s natives who have immigrated is record keeping and access to this information. People move around a lot within the country, meaning for someone to return looking for their family could be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Then there is the official route, embassies, charities, government offices, all of which have a façade of wanting to help but never actually provide the fruit for your labour.

This then leads to bigger questions, like why do the children need to be taken out the country to receive the support they so desperately need? Surely, the countries people are adopting from also have plenty of children in despair who would be equally viable for adoption. And why is it that people who adopt are often only really looking for a baby or toddler, no child is ever too old for the love of parenthood.

On the contrary to the above, my host family have four adult children of their own, and two orphans (age 7 and 17 who are not related) living with them, an example that people within Ethiopia can help their own.  

There is no conclusion here; I am merely raising a taboo which I have come across, which also happens to open a can of worms.

Kx

Happily ever after

28/02/2013

On Tuesday evening I was taken to a wedding by my host parents. The key piece of information they shared with me was that it was an Ethiopian woman marrying a ‘ferenge’ man (who I think turned out to be American of Chinese decent but I never got the chance to speak to them).

The ceremony was in the evening at a hotel function room, we arrived about 6:30 and it was gone 8:00 before anything kicked off. We were treated to a few songs and some music from a male singer and keyboard player. The colour theme was white and orange, there were archways with fairy lights over the aisle and lots of ornate flower arrangements. At the end of the aisle there was a raised stage, with two thrones and some other decorative chairs, all adorned with satin covers and sashes. There was a camera crew who had all area access, complete with a man that held a flood light attached to an extension lead to make sure there was enough light for the video to look good. There was a screen and projector to show the video live on the wall for the audience, something that was use throughout the event.

 The stage ready and waiting for the happy couple.

Camera crew at work

Quite a lot seemed to happen outside of the main room before we got a glimpse of the bride and groom. The mother of the bride was dressed in traditional clothing, with her hair and making up looking fabulous. Just outside the door they lit some flames which looked a bit like giant incense sticks. An announcement was made and the crowd of 200+ all stood up. Then the bride and groom came in followed by the wedding party, and their parents who then all lined the sides of the aisle. The bride and groom then took to singing and dancing up and down the aisle, whilst the crowd all clapped and joined in whilst still standing. She was dressed in and Orange and golden yellow dress, with her groom in a matching waistcoat. Her bridesmaids and the men had white and orange outfits, and other family members in traditional clothing. (for privacy I cannot post photos of them).

When this celebration came to an end, the bride and groom, with their wedding party took their seats on the stage. A gentleman, who I will assume was a pastor (it was a protestant wedding) then gave a quick introduction in Amharic and English, then followed this with various prayers in Amharic – the repeated used of ‘Egzebhair’ and chorus of ‘amen’ gave clue to this!

When this was finished, the mother of the bride left the room, followed by the camera man and went to exhibit the food which was waiting outside for the party. Then the bridal party went out and chose their food from the buffet and returned to eat. This process was then followed by the rest of the congregation. The buffet was certainly a feast, there was no shortage of food of all varieties and there were even two whole roast lambs being carved by the chefs.

 Mary had a little lamb…

Whilst we ate there was some music playing and some video footage of the newlyweds enjoying some video time at the gardens in a local resort. We left shortly after – I am unsure if this was for my benefit or because this signalled the end of the ceremony.

It was certainly different from any other wedding I have been to, and such a nice cultural experience. Especially because it was a union between a national and a foreigner, I’ve been told that the groom has lived in Ethiopia for a good few years and now they are married they are going to live in America for a few years, splitting their time between each country – a true example of cultural exchange!

Kx

HIV Survivors - Billy

26/02/2013

Billy* is the first male widower we have met. He is 57 years old and has 4 children aged between 16 and 27. His wife died in 1993 (EC) from HIV. Billy is not HIV positive, this situation is called discordant when in a couple only one person is HIV positive. He lives in a Kebele (government owned, subsidised property) and does not work. He is mainly supported by his son who works for the Health Bureau. One of his daughters would like to start a business; however she does not have basic education or the funds to start up any form of IGA (income generating activity).

His youngest child, Charlotte* was adopted by Americans who came over to Ethiopia for voluntary work when she was 4 years old. This is the case for many of the young children in the area at the time. Unlike the others, Billy has not seen his child since. Other children have been back in large groups a couple of times to visit their homeland, but Charlotte never came with them. He has tried contacting the American Embassy, the charity involved and various other organisations to find out if his daughter is alive and well. He received one photograph of her in reply; they have not provided her new name to him, or even which state in the US she is living in. While he is telling us it makes him desperately sad, he has essentially lost a child. Whilst he knows that she probably has a better life now, he still wishes he could know more about her.

This meeting was terribly upsetting; this man lost his wife and essentially a child very close together. No one will help him to contact her, she may not even know he is looking for her. For me this brought up many questions surrounding foreign adoption, which I will be writing about separately.

Kx

*names have been changed to protect identity

HIV Survivors - Debbie

26/02/2013

Debbie* is in her 40s, she is not married, has no children and lives alone. She is HIV positive and for the past 7 years has been taking ART. She was up-rooted from her family when she was very young, she does not know any of her relatives or even where she is from. She has lived in Awassa for most of her life, although she struggles to speak Amharic, and has no education.

Due to circumstance she ended up being a street sex worker. This type of work is very dangerous here, she has been left sterile and with HIV due to it. She now does daily domestic work, washing clothes, grinding barley, and preparing food for anyone who will employ her. Generally she can only get work if people do not know her status or her working past.

She was previously employed by a woman with a family to help around the home on a permanent basis, but when the woman died her children evicted her, not wanting someone who was HIV positive in their home – just one of the examples of discrimination she suffers regularly.

Her OSSA counsellor provides her companionship, she has no close friends in the community and so has little interaction socially. In the past she had received some financial support from OSSA, but as will many of the cases I have met, this was a one off occurrence some years ago.

  

Kx

*names have been changed to protect identity

HIV Survivors - Alexis

26/02/2013

Alexis* is a 16 year old girl, she is a grade 8 student who lost her father when she was 7 years old. She is HIV negative, however her mother is HIV positive.

In order to support her mother, and as the only child that can do so, she resigned from her education and is now studying to be a hairdresser with the aim that she can start to bring in a wage. Their home costs them 300Birr per month; their water usage is restricted to one jerry can per day by the landlord. This is not enough to provide them washing water, drinking water and water for making food. They spend a few birr each day buying water elsewhere so that they can wash their clothes and make injera to sell.

Their OSSA counsellor is their only support; they say that his interest in their lives and mediation between them and OSSA has helped considerably. He is the middle man that gets their donations to them, although in recent times thee donations have become few and far between.

Kx

*names have been changed to protect identity